The perk of being a 20-something is that there are lots of “hot topics” that surround money. Getting out of college, yes means lots of loans. If you are married or planning on it, there’s another big check. Buying a house? Rent? Yup, more money. That’s all before the dreaded question that almost all newly weds don’t want to hear “now that you’re married, when will you be having kids?”. Today’s Marriage Monday topic is all about money matters.
My husband and I both have always worked for what we have. I got my first job at age 12, working at a horse farm. My husband was picking blueberries in the summer when he was around the same age as me. We never expect anything to be handed to us and we are okay with that. But with that, comes some tension when it comes to money in our family as it was hard at first to rely on each other for money if needed.
We still to this day have separate checking accounts. We split bills based on our incomes and expenses. We are committed together to kicking our college loans to the curb in the next two years. We bought our last car with cash. Our stubbornness does pay off sometimes, clearly.
But one thing that differs between us is spending. He could go MONTHS without buying something.Seriously, months. I go a week and I start getting jitters (recovering reckless spender here). As I’ve shared before, although we are on a “strict” budget by some means in our effort to crush debt, I also firmly believe that you need to be realistic. If I want to buy a damn coffee because I forgot mine at home, guess what? I am going to. I wont’ get the $5.00 + latte, I don’t need that. But I will buy a coffee without guilt. I know for some, this is a cardinal sin if you’re on the quest to be debt free, but you HAVE to live life.
Something that has helped us manage our different spending styles is making planned dates once a month and budgeting an additional $35 to go out or get take out. So twice a month we can get out, enjoy a meal together, maybe drinks instead depending on what we decide. For Christmas, I gifted hubs 12-months of dates, yes the thing you see all over Pinterest. It was one of the best gifts I’ve ever given. I saved for it and now we don’t have to worry about spending excessively when it’s all planned out, wife win in my book.
It’s about to get real.
But why this really was on my mind today was because I was thinking about our future. There are some things in life that make us feel like we need tons of money saved up (like having a child for example), before you jump in with both feet. I know we are still young but it’s important to me to not be an “old mom” (sorry – selfish I know but I want to have the energy to do all the crazy fun things that I did as a kid with my mom). Money makes these talks tough. My responsible penny pinching husband wants all our ducks in a row, debt gone, money saved. I on the other hand, know we would make it work and figure it out because we are resourceful like that. I’ve deleted and put back in this paragraph a few times now, because it’s raw, it’s personal, it’s real. I’m leaving it because I want you to know you’re not alone if you’re in this “money matter” struggle too.
I’ve come a long way in my spending habits and my relationship with money. I attribute that a lot to my husband and his habits. He has taught me so much about saving, spending, evaluating my need vs. want. Although I’ve done a complete 360 when it comes to my habits, it’s still not easy to rationalize sometimes.
When the time is right, for anything in life, I know we will know. I am not worried about the future, I don’t even know what we are having for dinner for goodness sake. I firmly believe that we will have our little family when the time is right, even if it’s not right now. I am so thankful for this incredible life and all it has given us thus far. We have a beautiful home, each other, our furbaby, an abundance of loving friends and family. We have a lot to work on financially, yet we both have jobs we love (most of the time!) in our respective fields. Together, we will continue to manifest the life we want, I’m sure thankful to have him by my side.
What money matter do you struggle with personally or with your partner? Share below!